Month: August 2021

Just my mind in chaotic status.

After one lockdown here we go again at our 6th. I guess this is a new normal. But very thankful last week, i thought its gonna be another bday disaster. But the gods heard me and decided to finally gift me with 4 days bday trip. Though it would be awesome if I made it through Tasmanua but i ended up at one of my travel to this places list. I had fun, short but was worth it.

But here I am again troubled and just idk mood. Today just 40mins ago and until now while writing this it felt like living who i am is a cursed in this universe. I just want to be happy. I even gave up wanting to have a child coz i know i will never have it anyway, or having a boyfriend coz i know men will just leave me in some stage anyway, or learning 5 language this year or getting a drivers license. I lost all the motivation i have and the goals thAt i want to achieved. Idk, i just want to be happy and it seems that i cant even achieved it.

Idk , some people can curse me or say whatever they want to say. Im just writing today coz i want to explode and no one will understand anyways how i feel at this moment. Sorry im writing crap. I dont care anymore grammar or spelling or wotever or i dont know even if this makes sense.